1,2,3....Not it!!

A friend sent me a text the other day to ask if we were at war with Libya. I told her yes, but that at least we didn't start it. France shot first.

Why did I say that?! ' Cause that makes it better?! It's like, finally, the US didn't start something. And the good news is that the US is gonna back off and hand over control to the Allied forces in a manner of days. Thank goodness, for so many reasons!

Oh, but wait! Did you feel the wind of the double take from England, France and Italy? ..........They just said,
"Ummm, yeah, about that ....... 1,2,3......Not IT!"

WTF?!?

It's time to Avoid the Cookies!!

I have an addiction. I admit I'm addicted to Girl Scout Cookies. It started when I was young and a Girl Scout myself. I have no control when there is a box of Thin Mints or peanut butter Tagalongs around. You're probably saying, "Just don't buy the cookies!" Unfortunately, as with any addiction, its not that simple. I knew that having these cookies around was an issue. So I attempted to deal with it in a variety of unsuccessful ways......


1. Put them in the freezer.
That was a huge mistake, and anyone who tells you to do that is setting you up for failure. Something incredible happens when subfreezing temperatures hit those cookies. It's like what happens to liquids when frozen. Somehow, the yummy goodness particles in the cookies triple in size. Those boxes didn't last a day!

2. Buy them and leave them at work.
Yes, others could enjoy them if I hadn't snatched them out of their hands and growled each time they tried to.

3. Just give the money to the kids and get no cookies.
I've tried this many times.....

"Here, take the money!"
"What cookies do you want?"
"I don't."
"I can't just take your money!"
"And I can't take your cookies!! Just take the money!"
" You have to get cookies!"
"AHHH!!!!"

It just doesn't work! Which is amazing 'cause aren't they selling them to raise money?!

4. Refuse to order or buy any regardless of the cute faces, and pleading looks.
This would not be so bad if there wasn't a troop of Girl Scouts panhandling cookies in front of every store I need to go in. It's bad enough to have to deny them once, but it is inevitable that you get accosted going in and out of the store. And they are everywhere!

It's like they've changed the Girl Scout promise to :
On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country, by forcing cookies on you
To help people at all times, by pan handling cookies that are addicting
And to live by the Girl Scout Law. which is to sell cookies for what reason we're really not sure!


So far, this season I have been successful. But, today I need to go to Walmart and every entry will be covered. God, grant me the serenity not to take out a table of little girls as I attempt to avoid their cookies!

Get Out of My Way You Stupid Tatertot!

It's bad enough that I have to think daily about approaching my mid-forties! I try to eat healthy, and I exercise regularly. But I discovered some reasons the other day why this country has a weight problem! Among them are Dancing Tater tots!

I was ecstatic the other day when the weather became warm enough to take a bike ride. I get bored doing the same exercise routine and always welcome a change. So on my 11 mile ride I have to navigate several obstacles. The first one is the Dancing Tater tot outside of Sonic!! Unlike the picture here, he was right in my bike path! As I ride past him the aroma of whatever is made there smells soooo good hits me and nearly turns the bike around. I pump the pedals faster to get by nearly taking out the Statue of Liberty luring people to get their taxes done. I glance back relieved I have passed this first obstacle. My legs are on fire and I force myself to continue on, but not even a mile up the road I have to pass a McDonald's . No, there is no Mayor McCheese or Fry Guys out front, but the parking lot is packed and I can sense why, because the smell of chicken nuggets and Big Macs is wafting into my path. Push Meg! Push! I make it pass and complete my loop heading back on the opposite side.
Pain and fatigue numb my senses enough that I don't notice passing the McDonald's on the other side of the road...... But then I must pass the Bojangles, which for you Northerners is a southern version of KFC. But noooooooo, idiot driver makes me have to ride into the Bojangles parking lot and fully immerse myself in the heavenly scent that lingers there...... I think, "Fried Chicken! It's been sooo long! Suddenly, somehow, I snap out of it and and persevere.
Now I am getting to the point where I am hating and cursing any form of exertion, but know I can't stop until I get back home! Push! Push! OMFG! There's that stupid Tater tot, again! and he's still freakin' smiling! I must have been pumped full of something 'cause before I know it I'm flipping off that stupid Tatertot, and proceed to finish that bike ride in record time!!!

Fast food................... You have no power over me!

Snow day!?!?

Ok, only in the south can school be canceled due to winter weather and you wake up in the morning and not only is there no snow.....but no evidence of even a rain drop. When it was announced last night that school was canceled the little one shouted and jumped around the room and even I was a little excited for her, but now all I can think is "Great now we have to make up a day on some other vacation day." I guess becoming an adult makes one more of a curmudgeon. It does, however bring back memories of snow days in the north.

Growing up in Upstate NY, I am no a stranger to snow. It is in fact one of the reasons I moved south. I never really loved the snow as a kid. I remember my mom forcing me to go outside to play in it. Seriously, she would put my coat on me and literally push me out the door! I never liked to sled or ski or anything outside in the snow. Let's just say the snow and I had issues. The one thing I did appreciate from the snow was the occasional day off from school. And though it seemed they were very sparse the older we got, a snow day was always a welcomed day off.

They always start the same way. Early in the morning between 4:00 and 5:00 am the house phone would ring.( like we had anything else but a house phone then!) That was the clue that there might be a chance of no school that day. See, my dad was the president at the local community college and it was his job to decide whether classes were canceled due to the weather. Would I go back to sleep and wait for him to inform us that school was on or not? No! I would go downstairs to the kitchen with my dad. The coffee would be made and he would turn on the radio and listen to the road conditions, cancellations and make his decision. It was so high tech this canceling school thing. It involved some secret code that only the administrators who could cancel school had. I often wondered what one could do with such a code!

There were times when the public school closing was announced while we were listening but most of the time I remember my dad finding out when he called the stations with his decision. I would jump up and down and shout in excitement. Then I would proceed to inform my siblings of our instant vacation day. They would all go back to sleep but I never took advantage of the chance for extra sleep. By then I was always wide awake. I remember lots of reading, playing games and TV watching for me on those days. My siblings would venture out and play in the snow. Occasionally, you might have found me outside for a brief moment. I don't recall ever having to make up those days, and that could be why we loved them, perhaps we just enjoyed the free day or maybe we just didn't care.

So I think that that will be my attitude today. I don't care if I have to work an extra day to make up this day! I think I will hunker down with a good book, play some games with my family, cook something comforting and just enjoy the day.
Oh, wait !!! I think I see a few flakes falling outside! OMG, call the National Guard! It's a blizzard!! This is serious now, we maybe home for days!!!!

Time Marches On....

Tonight is the night when many people start reflecting about time and how quickly it passes. My grandma used to say that the older you get the faster time goes. Wow, was she right! I always imagine time as "If someone..." For example, "If someone had told me that I would be..... I would have......."
I have always had a fascination with time travel in the screen version.... I am not smart enough to realize it scientifically. I love the thought of changing history or affecting the future by one small moment or gesture. And don't get me started on my view of the whole paradox, time-space continuum thing . Anyhow, I thought I would share the top Movies and TV shows that I have loved that deal with Time Travel in one form or another...... Rate them as you will.

In no particular order.....


Time Bandits

Kevin, a small boy from England, embarks on a time traveling adventure with a group of dwarfs hungry for treasure. They have a map that they have taken from their boss, The Supreme Being, that leads them through time by way of time-holes. Awesome tale woven by Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin. Mix in Sean Connery, Ian Holm, David Rapport and half the cast of Monty Python and you have a grand adventure.

Favorite quote: "Mom! Dad! It's evil! Don't touch it! "

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Well, aside from the fact that this is early work of Keanu Reeves, this is a fun trip through time. Bill and Ted are dangerously close to failing out of high school when suddenly Rufus ( George Carlin) shows up with a time machine to help them pass their World History report. Why? you ask? So that they can stay together to create the music that brings World Peace and align the planets!

Favorite quote: " Strange Things are afoot at the Circle K"

Quantum Leap

This is one of my all time favorite shows!! It brings back so many memories. Sitting on the floor of my little apartment my first year in the classroom , figuring out lessons for the next week. Sam and I traveled across time, and "made right what once was wrong". Never was there a more awesome series finale either. You had to have seen the whole series to fully appreciate it. I did and still do!! Love me some Scott Bakula!

Favorite Quote: " Oh Boy!!"

Tru Calling

This was a show that lived only 3 seasons. It is along the lines of Quatum Leap, but with a little tweak. Tru is a medical student who works in the morgue. Instead of leaping through time. She touches a corpse and is whooshed back a day to prevent that person from dying. Add in a hysterical Zach Galifianakis as her co-worker in the morgue and handsome Jason Priestly who ends up being her nemesis and you don't care that it always starts with a dead person.

Favorite Quote: "Dude, I'm still alive. I died yesterday.

Millennium

Yep, this one is a little out there. It really isn't that great of a movie, but the plot has such great potential! Forget that Cheryl Ladd and Kris Kristofferson play the leads. So Bill is an airline crash investigator who happened to have been the lone survivor of a plane crash as a kid. Louise is from the future. A future soo polluted that she has to chain smoke in our time to survive. Bill doesn't know this when he meets her, but can't help but think he has seen Louise...... On the plane right before the crash! I love this movie for two main reasons. One: People don't die in plane crashes! and Two: The future, though bleak, has figured out how to fix the bad and save mankind. You'll have to watch it to get the whole gist.

Favorite Quote: "It is not the end. It is not the beginning of the end. It is the end of the beginning. "

Back to the Future

OK, Who could NOT love this movie? A chance to travel back and figure out what your parents did to make your teenage life suck so much, only to find out that one or two changes could either delete you from history or get you a rockin' truck!! Sorry, but Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd really sold this whole trilogy!

Favorite Quote: "You are my density! "

Dr. Who

Okay, I am a newbie to Dr. Who. Here is the scoop. The Doctor is a Time Lord who travels through space and time in his Tartis saving worlds and strange species from evil things like the Daleks. He always has a companion with him who assists him on his adventures. Most often a female. This is a great show for many reasons. It has been on since the 1960's. There have been upward of 11 Doctors. Apparently, Time Lords regenerate into a new person when injured. Brilliant concept! My favorite Doctor is definitely David Tennant, but Matt Smith is growing on me. It is also a show that we watch as a family.

Favorite Quote: "Bow ties are cool!"

So as you reflect on this past year, take a moment to think about which moments you would relive, and which you would change. You never know what possibilities the future may hold!! Happy New Year everyone!

"It's Ok it's what Moms do...."

Recently, my child became ill in the middle of the night which is when kids mostly get sick. So, I tended to her needs and mothered her. She proceeds to apologize for waking me up in the middle of the night. I tell her, "It's ok, 'cause that's what Moms do."

Today, my mom would have celebrated her 81st birthday.
And although she has been gone for 3 years now, it is comforting to recall all that she did for me because she was my mom. She also taught me many things throughout the years. Of those, I share the following........

Never be afraid to try new things, even if you don't know you want to try them. Mom was always finding activities for all of us kids. Arts and crafts, reading clubs, and all kinds of unique experiences. She totally took advantage of our local Parks and Rec programs.

You are never too old to learn new things. Mom went back to get her Masters degree when she was 53, graduated and started working full time after being out of the work force for 18 years to raise her family.

Don't be afraid to be who you are. My mother did not have a demonstrative personality, but she could sit down at a table of strangers and have new friends in a matter of minutes. She was smart, quick witted and genuinely kind hearted.

Children will be your biggest joy and can also be your biggest heartache. No matter what we children did or how we treated her, it was obvious she loved each one of us unconditionally.

Find something you are passionate about. My mom found her passion in art. We had always joked about her idea that when she retired she was going to take painting classes. Well, she did and she was great at it. Several of her paintings adorn my walls.

Enjoy the good things in life around you regardless of the bad. My mom was never a healthy person, but it never stopped her from doing what she loved, whether it was traveling abroad or to the local art gallery, or volunteering at the senior center. I think that positive out look is what helped her survive all the bouts with cancer and such and allowed her to live to a good old age of 78!!


I was fortunate that I had the opportunity to thank my mom several times for all she did for me before she passed. She never said much during those times, but would nod, blink and give me that beautiful smile, which to me always meant, " It's what Moms do. "

Love and miss ya Mom! Happy Birthday!

"Tradition.............Tradition"

Well, now that the holiday season is close at hand, one hears the word, tradition, a great deal. And although the first thing that pops into my head is a burly Jewish guy singing, I always end up laughing when I think of traditions.

I love traditions! And the wackier, the better. But my idea of a tradition is that you only have to do it once then it becomes a tradition. This became evident, in one of my I'm going to tell you every good thing that comes to mind conversations with my mom when she was near the end. I commented on how I always loved the tradition we had of driving around the local lake the day before school started each year. She stared at me for a moment and proceeded to inform me that we did that ONE time. "Seriously?" I ask. "Are you sure?" "Positive". So, now the running joke is if we did it once, it is a Tradition! Sometimes the list gets pretty long that way, but it also gives one a large selection to choose from. Below are some of my all time Holiday favorites..

We always name the turkey we buy for Thanksgiving. Yeah, I know naming your food is a little creepy, and I'm sure some of my Vegan friends are choking on their tofu right now. But it's something my mom always did. Yeah, and it's not just naming it. You gotta talk to it too using it's name. "Tom, you're cooking up nice and juicy! Tom, can't wait to see how you taste!" Tom was one of the first, but we have had a wide variety of names over the years usually starting with a "T". This year's turkey, however, has been dubbed, Larry, by my 8 year old. "Larry, you and I will working closely together in a few days!"

Eating cornbread. I know you're thinking, "What!?! Lots of people have cornbread on Thanksgiving." Ahhhh, but do you have a reason why you do? In my house, it all started in a grocery store parking lot Thanksgiving Day, circa 2007. It was the year my parents had passed, and we had rented a beach house and invited my brother and girlfriend-in-law for the weekend. We decided to have the standard meal on Saturday when everyone was there. So, on Thanksgiving Day, we headed out to Geo-Cache. Around noon-ish, we became hungry. We spotted a McDonald's that had a line at the drive-thru. Attempting to enter the restaurant, we soon realized the door was locked. So we assumed that maybe they were just providing Drive-Thru service being Thanksgiving and all. We hopped in line and waited our turn. We drove up to the speaker and proceeded to hear, "Welcome to McDonald's Drive-Thru. Please let us know when you are ready to order. " So I ordered and........... dead silence. "Hello, H-E-L-L-O?!?!" Nothing. A minute later, "Welcome to McDonald's Drive-Thru. Please let us know when you are ready to order. " "I'm ready!!" I yell. Still no answer. Drive around to the window. Everything is black, and dark inside. It has now become obvious that they are closed. Drive away passing a continuous stream of cars entering the line.

Luckily, next door is a Food Lion grocery store. We go in and find some food at the deli, of which my husband chooses some cornbread. We proceed to eat in the car and find a very good view of the perpetual drive-thru line which continues to circulate cars. It is quite amusing. Suddenly, my husband states that people are giving us a strange look and he proceeds to commentate what their conversations might be, "Look at those poor people eating cornbread in their car on Thanksgiving Day. They must live in their car. That's so sad. We should invite them to dinner." As he says this a couple does approach the car, but I give them such a look of horror, they run the other way. Through all this the drive-thru continues to circulate. So, we always have cornbread on Thanksgiving, just not usually in a parking lot.

The Christmas Eve dinner: The first Christmas Eve my husband, then boyfriend, came to my house I had to warn him about the menu. He thought I was kidding, but alas, I was not. The menu always consisted of Oyster Stew (semi-normal), rolls (normal), and potato chips and red Jello (not so normal). Who came up with that one? Well, my mom told me that Oyster Stew was a German tradition and well, what kid wants to eat oysters? So she added the jello and potato chips for us kids. Occasionally, we would even have a birthday cake for baby Jesus! This went on for years. I still remember having that meal in my early 30's.

My husband and I perfected this menu into what we call, The Seafood Trifecta! One of the first years we did not travel north for Christmas, we had recently discovered how to harvest our favorite crustaceans from the sea. That year began the menu of steamed clams, boiled shrimp, hot crab dip, and of course Oyster Stew. Originally, all self-harvested. It was cheaper that way. Now-a-days, we go to our local seafood market. When she was 3, my daughter ate all of it, now she's pickier. Looks like I'll be adding the Jello and chips!

So, what is it about Traditions? I think it is my way of holding onto the good memories of the past. Now that my folks are gone, I have lots of moments to reflect on which are based in traditions. My hope is that we create as many for my daughter to build on. I can't wait to see what new traditions we start this year. Hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday Season!

Gotta go check on Larry....