It's time to Avoid the Cookies!!

I have an addiction. I admit I'm addicted to Girl Scout Cookies. It started when I was young and a Girl Scout myself. I have no control when there is a box of Thin Mints or peanut butter Tagalongs around. You're probably saying, "Just don't buy the cookies!" Unfortunately, as with any addiction, its not that simple. I knew that having these cookies around was an issue. So I attempted to deal with it in a variety of unsuccessful ways......


1. Put them in the freezer.
That was a huge mistake, and anyone who tells you to do that is setting you up for failure. Something incredible happens when subfreezing temperatures hit those cookies. It's like what happens to liquids when frozen. Somehow, the yummy goodness particles in the cookies triple in size. Those boxes didn't last a day!

2. Buy them and leave them at work.
Yes, others could enjoy them if I hadn't snatched them out of their hands and growled each time they tried to.

3. Just give the money to the kids and get no cookies.
I've tried this many times.....

"Here, take the money!"
"What cookies do you want?"
"I don't."
"I can't just take your money!"
"And I can't take your cookies!! Just take the money!"
" You have to get cookies!"
"AHHH!!!!"

It just doesn't work! Which is amazing 'cause aren't they selling them to raise money?!

4. Refuse to order or buy any regardless of the cute faces, and pleading looks.
This would not be so bad if there wasn't a troop of Girl Scouts panhandling cookies in front of every store I need to go in. It's bad enough to have to deny them once, but it is inevitable that you get accosted going in and out of the store. And they are everywhere!

It's like they've changed the Girl Scout promise to :
On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country, by forcing cookies on you
To help people at all times, by pan handling cookies that are addicting
And to live by the Girl Scout Law. which is to sell cookies for what reason we're really not sure!


So far, this season I have been successful. But, today I need to go to Walmart and every entry will be covered. God, grant me the serenity not to take out a table of little girls as I attempt to avoid their cookies!

Get Out of My Way You Stupid Tatertot!

It's bad enough that I have to think daily about approaching my mid-forties! I try to eat healthy, and I exercise regularly. But I discovered some reasons the other day why this country has a weight problem! Among them are Dancing Tater tots!

I was ecstatic the other day when the weather became warm enough to take a bike ride. I get bored doing the same exercise routine and always welcome a change. So on my 11 mile ride I have to navigate several obstacles. The first one is the Dancing Tater tot outside of Sonic!! Unlike the picture here, he was right in my bike path! As I ride past him the aroma of whatever is made there smells soooo good hits me and nearly turns the bike around. I pump the pedals faster to get by nearly taking out the Statue of Liberty luring people to get their taxes done. I glance back relieved I have passed this first obstacle. My legs are on fire and I force myself to continue on, but not even a mile up the road I have to pass a McDonald's . No, there is no Mayor McCheese or Fry Guys out front, but the parking lot is packed and I can sense why, because the smell of chicken nuggets and Big Macs is wafting into my path. Push Meg! Push! I make it pass and complete my loop heading back on the opposite side.
Pain and fatigue numb my senses enough that I don't notice passing the McDonald's on the other side of the road...... But then I must pass the Bojangles, which for you Northerners is a southern version of KFC. But noooooooo, idiot driver makes me have to ride into the Bojangles parking lot and fully immerse myself in the heavenly scent that lingers there...... I think, "Fried Chicken! It's been sooo long! Suddenly, somehow, I snap out of it and and persevere.
Now I am getting to the point where I am hating and cursing any form of exertion, but know I can't stop until I get back home! Push! Push! OMFG! There's that stupid Tater tot, again! and he's still freakin' smiling! I must have been pumped full of something 'cause before I know it I'm flipping off that stupid Tatertot, and proceed to finish that bike ride in record time!!!

Fast food................... You have no power over me!